Today's Forecast: TORI-NADO!

It has been ‘one of those days’ today. I am so lucky that I have seemingly endless patience with Tori because she has put it to the test today. lol She has been at a sleepover for the past two days and so today when she came home, she had some chores to catch up on before being allowed to go anywhere else. Nevermind the fact that children become almost completely blind while cleaning and you are forced to get up every time they think they are done and point out all of the trip hazards and wet bathing suits that are languidly soaking into your hardware floor. It almost seems easiler at that point to do it yourself, but you know that isn’t the answer either. Cleanliness and personal responsibility are important values you are trying to instill but no one ever told you it would cost you some wrinkles and grey hairs to teach them!

Anyway, after two hours on a 30 minute job, Tori is ready to move on to the next part of her day. Lunch. This should have been the easy part, but boy was I wrong. She usually likes to make noodles in the microwave for lunch and today while doing that, she forgets to put the water into the bowl with the noodles. I don’t know if it was the pretty new fingernail polish she was ogling or the fact she was fretting over straightening her hair before her shopping trip to the mall, or maybe her friend distracted her with some juicy gossip. Whatever the case may be, I was happily tooling away rearranging some things in the bathroom when I get a huge wiff of something TERRIBLE. I go into the kitchen and it’s filled with stench and the microwave is vomiting plumes of black smoke. I swear I saw the digital screen flash “JUST KILL ME NOW PLEASE.” I grab the kitchen towel and start chasing the smoke around and throwing open windows and doors while, and I say this with pride, CALMLY asking Tori what the heck happened?? She is of course beside herself with “im sorry Mommy”, one right after the other. lol I tell her how dangerous this is and that it could start a fire and burn the WHOLE house down! Of course I don’t know for certain that that could happen, but I take the opportunity to stick a little fear in there so that maybe this wont happen again.

So, lunch has moved on to chicken nuggets in the toaster oven, and I think I saw it quiver slightly with fear, wondering if it was going to survive or not after seeing what happened to it’s friend, the microwave. But alas, all turns out well and little tummy’s are filled and at least one small appliance lives to see another day. Meanwhile, I am deflated over the fact that my house smells like a forest fire. I worked all day dusting and vacuuming and sweeping and although it looks great, I wouldn’t even invite Smokey The Bear in for tea. Although I think he looks more like a coffee kind of Bear anyway.

Ok, so finally she is ready to go to the Mall with her friend and shop and do whatever girls her age do that seems to entertain them for so long. I think to myself, ok cool … I’m going to drop them off and go get some air fresheners, drown the house in it and then sit back with a cold drink and enjoy a few hours of peace.

But no ……. that is not to be.

Miss Tori calls me after only a short time and asks if she can stay two hours past the time limit I had given her. After several well placed questions by the seasoned Mom that I am, I find this out …. It seems her and friend wanted to see a movie there in the mall and instead of looking at the schedule BEFORE buying the tickets, they just assumed that there would be a movie perfectly timed to their whims. Again, no. The guy at the counter sells them tickets and when they get inside, they realize the movie is already well in session. *sigh* They go back out, tell the ticket taker of their delima and he says “no problem, come back at the 7pm show.” So here is Tori asking me if they can stay another two hours until the show starts, not realizing that the mall closes in an hour. Solution? I have to go get them, bring them home for 40 minutes, take them back for an hour show and then retreive them, hopefully, without further incident. And between all of this back and forth, I had to pick up an order of 4 pizza’s at 5:30 and get them to Harbor Freight by 6pm for their customer appreciation event. I wont even go into the oxygen-tank-yeilding-Mongoloid-Mutants that tried their best to delay me until I shriveled up like an old *pizza bone and turned to dust on the floor.

I digress, anyway .. I agree to take them back to the mall this evening but I have to stop at the store first and get M O R E house deoderizer. The girls didn’t want to come into the store with me, so I went by myself. Upon coming out, my purchases in hand, I sneak up to the car (thank you brand new sneakers) and I see Tori’s arm sticking out of her window. So I grab it. She yells SO loud it echoed over the entire parking lot! I am so satisfied by this, I almost feel guilty. Almost. lol. I am laughing so hard I think I might snort and then I really WOULD die of laughter. She says to me that we are even for all the trouble she has caused today and I think that she just might be right. lol.

So, it is a little after 8pm now and she will be calling for a ride home soon, at which time matthew will be ready to come home as well. I am hoping that the evening will progress slowly now and without further ado. I am truely lucky to have a wonderful life and a heart light enough and free from worry that I am able to laugh and carry on through such rediculousness.

Life is good. Really good.

*pizza bone: this is what I call the little curved crust piece on the end of the pizza slice that I do not eat.

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